January 1 – Family has made New Year’s Resolution to read me every day. They read Matthew 1, though had a tough time with all the hard-to-pronounce names.
January 15 – I’ve been resting quietly for a week. Evidently I have been forgotten.
February 11 – Owner used me briefly. He was asked to substitute as Bible class teacher, and had to look up some verses during breakfast. I was left in car after services.
March 7 – Luckily the weather has not been too hot. I was left under seat of car for weeks. Was found when kids vacuumed car in preparation for Spring Break, dusted off, and returned to the shelf.
April 20 – Grandma here for visit. I was in her lap all afternoon. Mostly open to 1 Cor. 15.
April 21, 22, 23 – Grandma read me every afternoon this week. It was great to get some exercise and fresh air again.
May 4– I now have a few ugly green stains at Malachi 3. The daughter used me to press some flowers from the yard.
June 18– I look like a scrapbook. They have stuffed me full of newspaper clippings. The son got married.
July 27 – It is dark, but I am excited. I was put into a suitcase to go on a summer vacation trip.
August 10– Darkness, with a few moments of bright light. I’m still in the suitcase, though everything else has been taken out.
August 14 – Home again. Put me back in my old place on the shelf.
Seemed like quite a long journey, but I haven’t figured out why they wanted me to go with them.
September 29 – They used me today, at James 5. The dad is quite sick.
Right now I am shined up and sitting in the center of the coffee table. I think the preacher is supposed to stop by later.
October 19 – I have lots of company on the coffee table. I’m under a comic book, a TV Guide, Time Magazine, a novel, and the mom’s knitting. They seem to be having a lot more fun than I am.
November 11 – I’m sore; I think I pulled something. Owner came home from church upset about something the preacher said. Snatched me up to hunt for a verse, but never could find it.
December 26 – Family got a new Nintendo. Shelf I was on needed a bit more room, so I have been moved to a dark cabinet. Perhaps I’ll come out on January 1?
–author unknown
1.) Every time I went they asked for money.
2.) The people I sat near were unfriendly.
3.) The seats were uncomfortable.
4.) I attended many games, but not once did the coach stop by my house.
5.) The ref made calls I didn’t agree with.
6.) I suspected some of the people there were hypocrites—they came to talk to their friends more than to watch the game.
7.) Some games went into overtime and I was late getting home.
8.) The band played some numbers I had never heard before.
9.) The games were scheduled at times when I wanted to do other things.
10.) My parents forced me to go to games growing up, and this is how I will get back at them.
–author unknown